Are You Ready for a Threesome? Tips & Stories from 3 Real Women Who've Had One.

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Are You Ready for a Threesome? Tips & Stories from 3 Real Women Who've Had One.

Threesomes are frequently portrayed as the ideal sexual desire, but have you ever considered how to arrange one? And what happens next?

Is it enjoyable or simply... awkward?

We asked Three women to relate their real-life threesome experiences, ranging from a spontaneous one-time hookup to a polyamorous lifestyle choice.

Jenny

I've had some casual group sex situations.

My first threesome with two men was somewhat planned. I'd been texting one guy, who then introduced me to his friend. The second threesome had a heterosexual couple: a female friend of mine and her spouse. We're no longer friends, and they're married with two children. It wasn't planned, but I enjoyed it and thought it was rather flattering that another pair was interested in me. I also had a completely unplanned foursome: I met a girl on the dancefloor at a nightclub and we were instantly attracted. We made out briefly, and I soon discovered she had a male boyfriend. After the night, I invited my male friend and the couple if they wanted to return to my flat for a drink. As soon as we entered, both couples started kissing, and it all continued from there. There was plenty of communication between the four of us, so no one felt excluded or uncomfortable. I awoke the next morning feeling like I had checked off a bucket list item. Now that I'm in a serious relationship, I doubt something like that would happen again, but I'm pleased I had the opportunity to do it then.

The first threesome I had was when I was quite young, and I only did it because I assumed the boys would like me. It was awkward because we were in a car, and I had the impression that the men were more concerned with bragging rights than with the sexual encounter itself. I have no regrets, but I would not recommend it. If you want to try, I recommend talking to your friends or your therapist first.

If you're with a partner, start by visiting a sex club. Even if you are only spectating, it provides you a fair notion of what to anticipate. A sex club is an excellent approach to becoming comfortable with group sex.

Annika

My threesome encounters were a lifestyle choice I made in my early twenties while attending university. In high school, I was in a regular monogamous relationship, but when I got to university, I rejected monogamy and identified as pansexual. I ultimately became connected with a lady, and we would go out partying on occasion, returning home with a male for a threesome. It didn't happen every weekend, but it was usually casual hookups with people with whom we had a connection or vibe on the dance floor. My girlfriend and I eventually broke up because we were constantly fighting and wanted different things.I then had a period of non-monogamous relationships, but I had to pause and evaluate the quality of guys I was attracting into my life. I was also tired of the messy story I had crafted about myself. I took a year off from sex and remained celibate for 12 months before marrying a man many years later. For anyone interested in a threesome, communication is essential. You must engage in mature conversations with one another, and you should never 'give' a threesome to someone else if you do not want it yourself.

Sylvia

I had a one-time threesome in my late twenties while alone and living in a shared house. On the night it happened, we were all in our regular pub with a large group of other friends, including Helen's long-time buddy Lachlan, who was back in town for a visit. After a drink or two, I decided to flirt with Helen and see what happens. I hadn't planned on having a threesome that night, but I'd been crushing on my stunning female flatmate Helen for a long. I believe I suggested to Helen that Lachlan was cute and that it could be fun to take him home with us. At some point, she asked Lachlan, who consented. It took a while to get started after we arrived home and, in the bedroom, but Mike took the initiative, which I appreciated. I was apprehensive since I knew there were a couple of things, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing. Everyone was cool, and no one put anyone under any strain. I could tell Lachlan wanted to do more with Helen, and Helen wanted to do more with me, so I gladly stepped in to please Lachlan; otherwise, I think I would have felt awful if he had been left out. I still think about that night from time to time, but only with fondness and gratitude. Helen and I probably only talked about it once after that night. I believe she was just checking in to make sure everything was fine. I merely reassured her that everything was fine and that she didn't need to worry. We did play around a few more times by ourselves during the next year. We remain excellent friends to this day. I would advocate a threesome if the circumstances were appropriate, and you feel safe.

Don't put yourself or others under pressure to do anything you don't want to do.

When you're ready to join a threesome, whether as a single or a couple, there are a few things you can do to make it a successful and enjoyable experience. Discuss health and safety standards, boundaries, restrictions, and desires beforehand. Do not overindulge in alcohol or other substances to relax or unwind. Keep everyone's enjoyment in mind. Don't be afraid to bring toys and lots of lubricant. Relax and enjoy yourself by creating a warm and pleasant environment!

Establish boundaries and ground rules.

This should be a procedure that involves all participants. However, if you are approaching this circumstance as a couple, you should negotiate limits and ground rules ahead of time so that you both enter the situation with the same goal and knowledge. Discuss with your three-way partners which sex acts you are comfortable with and which you are not. It's a good idea to suggest a safe phrase that you all agree on in case one of you becomes uncomfortable during the act and has to pause. An honest chat between the three of you about these issues will reinforce consent and understanding, as well as assist in establishing a comfortable setting in which you may relax and enjoy the experience.

Maintain open communication throughout.

Once you've established limits and ground rules, it's critical to communicate with each other during the event. Simply asking, "How are you doing?" or "How does this feel" throughout the threesome can create a safe space for each participant to express how they are feeling. Also, before the three-way, explicitly saying that communication should be a priority during sex might make each individual feel more comfortable being honest about their feelings. Having open communication during this event will help to establish a warm and comfortable climate that allows everyone to have fun together.

Afterward, have a debrief with your partners.

Once you've had the threesome, it can be useful to ask each other how the experience went. Some couples may want to indulge in some aftercare, such as cuddling, taking a shower, or eating or drinking something. An anonymous couple stated, "Aftercare is essential in helping everyone come down from the experience and feel included." It is also OK if a partner does not intend to stay beyond the three-way. The bottom line is that this experience is unique to each person, but debriefing can help you think about it and continue to prioritise each partner's physical and emotional needs. If you addressed the scenario as a couple, have an open talk with your spouse afterwards and inquire how the experience went for both of you. There may be some things you truly liked and others you didn't. This stage is especially vital if you plan on having more threesomes in the future, whether with your current partner(s) or others.

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Are You Ready for a Threesome? Tips & Stories from 3 Real Women Who've Had One.

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