There are numerous ways to keep things hot in the bedroom—you can bring in an oral sex toy or dabble in the BDSM bondage pool with some light bondage sex toys—but if you truly want to pump up the heat, there's no better (or more literal) approach than wax play. Before we get into wax play best practices, defining what it is vital. Wax play generally consists of dripping or spreading hot (or warm) candle wax over yourself or your partner for pleasure. While most wax play is deemed BDSM, it is not always the case. Hot wax may be a terrifying and high-sensation element in play, and BDSM frequently eroticizes that type of experience.

The thrill of doing something risky, along with the anticipation of waiting for the wax to strike your skin, can provide a rush of sexual desire. It also activates your senses beyond touch, increasing pleasure and allowing you to be present in the moment. You have a bodily reaction to heat, which increases your sensitivity and makes all of your partner's touches feel more intense. Sexual exploration with a partner, in general, can improve closeness by sharing experiences and the trust and respect that comes with attempting new activities.

Wax play may appear to be something you can improvise or try in the heat of the moment with your favourite Bath & Body Works candle, but that couldn't be further from the truth. To engage in wax play as safely (and thus as pleasurably) as possible, there are some things you need to know. So, if playing with fire and dripping hot wax on your partner during sex has ever sounded appealing to you, here are some tips and tricks. 

  1. Use special body-safe wax candles.

Please do not use any old candle you have lying around (since it will be quite hot!). You should use an unscented, colourless soy or paraffin candle, however, candles specifically created for this form of wax play work best. Body-safe massage Candles are the safest if you are new to wax play. They melt at a much lower temperature. Not to mention, they frequently contain skin-nourishing oils that will leave your skin feeling incredibly soft! They are often made of either soy wax, which has a lower melting point, or paraffin wax, which has a little greater melting point and produces a more powerful sensation. 

Shop for Body-safe Candles

Here, some general guidelines:

Body-Safe Candle Ingredients:

Soy: These are the safest candles to use since they cool the most quickly on contact, and they’re less likely to cause skin irritation.

Paraffin: These burn at a hotter point than soy candles, so try one if you’re into more intense (read: painful) wax play.

Candle Ingredients to Avoid:

Avoid using beeswax since it can cause skin burns. or any candle whose components are not disclosed.

Any colorings or dyes: These can modify the melting point of a candle, potentially resulting in an unexpected burn.

  1. Establish a safe word.

 Before you begin lighting candles, keep in mind that wax is hot, can burn, and can cause severe harm and scarring if not utilised properly. You're playing with genuine fire. This could sound something like, 'I would like you to drip wax on my (insert body part), but not on my (insert body part).'It is a good idea to have a safe word, even if wax play is not utilised in a standard BDSM scenario. After all, this is supposed to be fun, not torment. So, choose a term that both you and your companion will remember, such as pineapple or red, and strike that match.


  1. Have a bucket of warm water next to you in case of burns.

  Remember that bringing hot wax and fire into the bedroom is quite risky. Keep a pail of warm water nearby just in case. If someone is burned (unintentionally), never throw cold water on them since it shocks the system and might aggravate the burns. In the event of burns, cool the area with lukewarm water or a cool (not cold) compress and seek proper care.


  1. Set up a safe area to play in—far away from anything flammable.

When discussing anything with an open flame, it is critical to create the appropriate environment. Do not keep easily flammable items such as tissues, curtains, or hair products nearby. Keep a look out for bed linens and drapes, as well as lingerie flung around in the heat of the moment.


  1. If you’re using a candle with a glass container, use an electric candle warmer and make sure to blow out the flame before attempting any kind of pouring.

Before you begin, light your candle and store it somewhere secure until the wax melts. Ideally, you want to get an even melt over the candle and avoid tunnelling, similar to how you burn a conventional candle. When you are ready to begin dripping the wax, extinguish the flame to reduce the risk of burns or fire. If you don't, the flame may come into touch with the glass when you tip the candle to pour it, causing the glass to heat up quickly and burn or even break. This is definitely not what you want. Using an electric candle warmer is a safer option (and can help prevent the "tunnelling" effect).


  1. Prep your surroundings for cleanup ahead of time.

Wax is a pain to clean up, so completing little pre-play preparation may save you a headache later. Set down a disposable sheet or use puppy pads. It's also not a bad idea to lay down an old sheet you don't care about over your bedspread as an additional safeguard.


  1. And prepare your body for cleansing.

Once the wax has cooled and hardened, it can be quite unpleasant to remove from any regions with body hair. Avoid dripping wax on hairy places, or remove hair first—it's called waxing for a reason. Prepare your or your partner's skin with oil. Baby oil makes wax removal much easier. Furthermore, it's a great opportunity for a sensuous warm-up massage.


  1. Allow the candle to burn for around 20 to 30 minutes, then test the wax on yourself.

It's vital to test the wax on yourself before attempting it on a partner so you can physically empathise with the experience your partner would feel. However, your pain tolerance may be far higher than your partner's, therefore communication is always necessary.


  1. Begin by dropping wax on the less sensitive places.

Once your spouse has verified that the temperature is okay. Begin by applying the wax to less sensitive portions of your partner's body, such as the arms and back. Slowly progress to more sensitive locations, such as the inner thighs, checking in with your spouse as you try new ones. Never apply wax on the head, face, genitals, or within the body.


  1. Control any splash back by adjusting the height at which you pour.

Check in with your partner to determine if they want less heat (move the candle further away so the wax may cool before contact) or more (bring the candle closer). Avoid getting closer than six inches away from the skin unless you're comfortable with the risk of burns. The true hazard of pouring is when a burning or extremely hot piece of wax falls onto the skin and burns it. This can happen from any height, so proceed carefully, be cautious, and use the appropriate materials.


  1. Play with the timing of your pours.

The gradual drip of candles can create a sense of anticipation. For others, it's like nails on a chalkboard. Some people may wish to let the candle rest and melt for a time so that the pour has more of a splashing effect. Just be careful with the wax's temperature. To manage the wax temperature while increasing the volume of melted wax, place candles in glass jars in a water bath in a crockpot. This way, you'll have more wax to play with without having to torch it at high temperatures.


  1. Play with shapes and patterns.

You can even drip the wax over your partner's back, creating varied sensations and patterns. Don't limit yourself to simply putting wax over them; you may also be creative by using a paintbrush or your fingers.


  1. Once the wax has cooled, play with the solid wax as well.

Just because the wax is on your partner's body does not imply the game is over. Running ice cubes over the still-warm wax, or tapping on solidified wax, can provide even more pleasure.


  1. Are you feeling bold? Try adding more BDSM features.

If you want to extend your fun, you can use a whip to remove the solidified wax. Just make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with breast, vaginal, or penis whipping before you start. Communication is essential, so talk about what you want to attempt beforehand and make sure everyone is on the same page. A blindfold can also make the sensation more intense. Removing the sense of sight heightens anticipation and allows your partner to concentrate more on the physical feelings. You may also play with cold and hot by blowing on the wax as it cools to give your lover goosebumps, or use an ice cube to send chills of ecstasy down their body.


  1. Don’t skimp on the aftercare!

When dealing with BDSM, it is critical to include an aspect of aftercare. Wax play, in particular, should end with a massage of aloe vera or sunburn lotion to help soothe sensitive skin, which may lead into the next portion of your sexual encounter.


  1. Once you're finished, use a plastic card or comb to remove the hardened wax.

Assuming you remained away from any hair (or your pre-applied baby oil helped ease the hardened wax off), you can use a plastic card or comb to remove any residual wax. And...voilà, you're done!

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