Backdoor Fun (Anal Advice)

Backdoor Fun

Some people are not comfortable with the idea of anal play or penetration. However, there are increasingly large numbers of people who enjoy the intense stimulation afforded by the sensitive nerve endings found in the anus.

You may not orgasm from anal stimulation alone, but combined with clitoral and/or vaginal stimulation for the girls and penile and/or testicular stimulation for the boys, you will enjoy stronger more exhilarating orgasms.  There is a wide world of tempting creative toys available today to enhance your experience – and undoubtedly there is a model perfect for you.

Regardless of whether you enjoy light or deep penetration, slim or thick girth or a vibrating buzz, remember to select a smooth, seamless toy with a flared base for anal play.

Good etiquette, technique and style of play are crucial when stimulating this erotic zone.  When using a finger or a sex toy for anal play, don’t insert vaginally until you’ve washed the item with anti-bacterial soap.  Transferring bacteria from one area to another could cause infection.  And remember - lubrication is absolutely necessary during anal play because the anus, unlike the vagina, does not produce natural lubrication.

Boy and Girls - An Anatomy Lesson

Much like the vagina, the outer third of the anus contains more nerve endings than the anal canal and responds best to touch and vibration.  The inner portion (inside the canal) has fewer nerve endings near the surface and responds to feelings of fullness, pressure and rhythm. For the girls, anal stimulation is and added bonus – many like the feeling of fullness that it offers. Let’s face it, a toy in both the vagina and the anus, or a man in either or, sounds deliciously wicked – and it feels sooooo good.

For the boys however, the social stigma for anal play is a taboo – if you like to be anally penetrated then you must be gay.  Well, get that out of your head right this minute.  The way that the male species is put together says different.  The prostate gland is the male equivalent to the G-Spot – it is also known as the P-Spot.

The prostate gland is located at about the centre of the male urogenital system, inside the perineal wall.  It sits just below the bladder, producing the fluid that mixed with semen in ejaculation.  It is connected to the urethra, the muscles that line the perineum and the sphincter muscle.  If there is an epicentre of the male orgasm, this is it. Many men (although not all) find that when they are aroused, prostate stimulation is intensely pleasurable; this is because the nerve pathway from the brain to the penis runs through the rectum, and one large bundle of nerves in located just beneath the prostate.

Additionally, the penis is more or less anchored at the prostate, so when you massage a guy’s prostate you also transmit sensation to the base of his penis.  If he experiences any pain when his prostate is touched, he should have it checked by a doctor.  Men often describe the orgasms they have from prostate stimulation as deep, intense and powerful.  For some men it is like hitting a light switch – even the lightest touch on the outside of the anus shoots him straight to orgasm.

No matter what you choose to do, there are some basic rules to follow for anal play.

  1. Always start small – then work your way up the size ladder
  2. Insert a butt plug when only when you are already really turned on
  3. Never use a toy without a flared base
  4. Never insert items that can create a dangerous vacuum – like bottles
  5. Always use lots and lots of lube.  Anal tissue is thin and does not lubricate itself.  It can tear easily.
  6. If it hurts, that means you are going too fast, or you need more lube, or the item’s too big, or you’re not in the mood just now.
  7. Go slowly – very very slowly
Guide to Anal Toys
Anal Beads

These special beads are designed to take advantage of the pleasant sensations that can occur as your sphincter muscles open and close around a series of small round objects.

When withdrawn at the peak of orgasm, you may experience an erotic thrill unlike any other. The repeated opening and closing of the anal sphincters from inserting and removing anal beads is a sensation that can put many people over the edge into orgasm.

Beads come in all sizes and materials, and are a series of beads knotted into place along a string with a ring on the end, or beads along a stem of plastic or silicone.

Anal Vibrators

Just like other vibrators, anal vibrators can have various speeds, internal or external power supplies and various features. Some are shaped to stimulate the prostate gland to help men experience more intense orgasms.

Anal Plugs

The most familiar item that comes to mind when talking anal play is the Anal Plug – more commonly known as the Butt Plug. 

The name “Butt Plug” is descriptive of this toys purpose: to plug the anus. Butt Plugs are available in all sizes, however are basically the same shape – narrow at the base, thickest in the middle and narrowest on top – they kind of resemble a tear drop with a stand on the bottom.  Due to the shape of them, plugs are not good for in and out thrusting, they are designed to stay put – just like a plug. The flared base prevents the plug from getting “sucked in’ and lost inside the rectum.  The sphincter muscles squeeze and contract involuntary – we can’t control them.  Plugs will help you to relax your anal muscles and give you a pleasurable feeling of fullness while you stimulate your other erogenous zones.

Many people enjoy the sensation of fullness, similar to the sensation women experience during vaginal penetration. The outer portion of the anus is highly sensitive and rich in nerve endings. Vibration is an exquisite addition to the feeling of fullness and internal pressure created by a plug.

Better Tips for Anal Play
Testing for Tightness

When experimenting with Anal play, it is essential that an individual understands their level of tightness for their anal muscles.  There are 2 general rules of thumb to follow when selecting a beginner’s toy.

Finger Rule

This rule states that the “beginner” level of anal play is the width of the index and pointer fingers held together. Choose a beginner anal toy and hold up your first two fingers, held tight together, against the widest point of an anal toy. This will give you a firm reference point for your personal tightness level.

Thumb/peg rule

For men, particularly straight men, there is often a stigma attached to anal play which prevents men from visualising the 2-finger rule properly. In this instance, the widest point of an anal toy should be no wider than the flat of the thumb. Hold up your thumb with the nail visible. Look at the width of the thumb just before the first knuckle. This is the thumb width measurement. Men should hold up the flat of their thumb to a toy to judge their personal tightness level.

Douching and cleaning: Do’s and Don’ts

Douching (doo-shing), or the act of water-cleaning the anus, is an absolutely vital component of anal play.  Nobody finds it appealing when a toy comes out dirty.  Anal douches come in various forms – but there are some essential rules to follow when douching.

1 – Water Temperature

When Douching, it is important to ensure that you are using a safe and comfortable temperature.  It is commonly recognised that tepid (approximately 15c) to lukewarm (approximately 22c) water is the ideal temperature to ensure comfort and to prevent inner scalding.  A good way of making sure your douche water is the right temperature, is to run a thermometer under a tap while adjusting the hot and cold, until your thermometer reads the ideal temperature range.

2 – Wand size

The size of the Douching wand is critical to ensuring that you are cleaning the right area of the anus.  For people inserting beads, longer wands, dildos or having penetrative anal sex, the wand should be at least 3 inches long, and the reservoir should be completely compressed while inserted, to ensure the water has penetrated approximately 6 to 8 inches into the anus.

How to Douche

Once you have the water temperature right, and have selected the right wand for yourself, you need to fill the reservoir completely full.  A good way to do this is to compress the empty reservoir and slowly release it while filling.  Make sure there are no air pockets as this forces air bubbles into the anus and can cause uncomfortable gas. Lubricate the outside of the wand (preferably with silicone lube to prevent washing it off while douching). Insert the wand slowly, preferably while in a sitting or squat position, as this ‘straightens’ the anal cavity and allows for comfortable insertion.  If you feel any pain, cease insertion immediately and slowly remove.  Once the wand is inserted fully, press on the reservoir until you feel the sensation of water pushing into and filling the anal cavity.  Once the reservoir is completely compressed, remove the wand before releasing pressure on the reservoir.

Do not immediately push the water out, as this will simply rinse the anus instead of cleaning.  Instead, hold your anal muscles tight for at least 20 seconds before relaxing them.  Do not push to begin, as this will force the deeper water further into the cavity, and may cause an uncomfortable liquid feeling while performing anal sex/play.  Allow your body to naturally push the water out, applying pressure only when your own body prompts you.  For cleanest results, douche three times with a full reservoir, or until you see clear water being released.

Slippery Stuff for Added Comfort

Analyse Me is a spray that is designed to be used for increased comfort during anal stimulation. Analyse Me has been especially formulated to condition the tissues in and around the anus prior to, and during, anal play or intercourse. First time users of ‘Analyse Me’ report easier penetration, with frequent users also reporting greatly increased pleasurable sensations.

To use, apply a few sprays from spray bottle to the anus and rub gently for 1 to 2 minutes prior to anal stimulation. Apply a good quality sexual lubricant immediately prior to penetration (after Analyse Me has had a chance to be absorbed).  Be Daring recommends that Analyse Me Lubricant is used for best results.

Anal Lubricant

Anal Lubricants are especially designed for the anal area and are longer lasting than their regular counterparts.  This is due to the anal area not creating its own lubrication during play. 

Analyse Me Anal lubricant is a friction free non irritating silky smooth personal lubricant especially designed to be used for anal play and in conjunction with Analyse Me Comfort Spray.  This non-staining water based lubricant contains similar relaxing properties to the comfort spray and  is easy to clean up. For easy insertion, apply liberal amounts to both the anus and insertion piece.


For those who are new to the anal scene (and even those who aren’t so new) an educational book is a great way to start out.  The Anal Sex Position Guide introduces couples to the different positions that can make anal play more comfortable, less intimidating and more pleasurable.  This book is specifically targeted to the anal playground, but there are others that are just as helpful on this topic, such as Spectacular Sex Moves She'll Never Forget and Spectacular Sex Moves He'll Never Forget.

Warranty and Repairs:

Be Daring the Adult Shop supply care instructions with all purchases of vibrating products and also offer a 30 day repair warranty on all vibrating products sold.  This entitles the customer to return to store any item which is shown to be faulty within 30 days of purchase for repair or replacement.


The information provided to you is not professional advice. No-one should act in reliance upon any of this information without first obtaining independent advice from a health professional familiar with their particular state of health and fitness.

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